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How divorced Moms can handle themselves with their children and 10 tips to handle yourself with your kids

How divorced Moms can handle themselves with their children and 10 tips to handle yourself with your kids  Divorce is the hardest word in all religions and regions, and nobody wants to face it, but when the relationship becomes a burden and is impossible to live in, it’s best to leave it and move on. I want to talk about divorced mothers with kids. Especially when they’re alone and have to provide for their children's needs. This’s a very critical situation when you’re feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted, and everyone treats you like a convict; specifically, divorced women are isolated from society, even if they’re right, but everyone accuses them of the breakup. —-       Before moving on to my topic, I want to clarify: please, ladies, stop accusing yourselves; stop troubling yourselves; and stop underestimating yourselves, because you’re as valuable as men. Don’t think that if they leave you, then something happened to you. No, absolutely not,...
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How divorced Moms can handle themselves with their children and 10 tips to handle yourself with your kids

How divorced Moms can handle themselves with their children and 10 tips to handle yourself with your kids 

Divorce is the hardest word in all religions and regions, and nobody wants to face it, but when the relationship becomes a burden and is impossible to live in, it’s best to leave it and move on.

I want to talk about divorced mothers with kids. Especially when they’re alone and have to provide for their children's needs. This’s a very critical situation when you’re feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted, and everyone treats you like a convict; specifically, divorced women are isolated from society, even if they’re right, but everyone accuses them of the breakup. —-

      Before moving on to my topic, I want to clarify: please, ladies, stop accusing yourselves; stop troubling yourselves; and stop underestimating yourselves, because you’re as valuable as men. Don’t think that if they leave you, then something happened to you. No, absolutely not, because if you’re right and want to live peacefully, mentally, physically, and emotionally, then it’s your right to break this relationship that disrespects you and humiliates you. 

     And you know what? Your kids also suffer and feel it is disgusting and annoying when they see their parents in immense conflict, and the environment becomes poisonous and harsh.

    Now, when someone decides to isolate, especially a lady, what can she do to stand by herself and for her kids? 

   So there’re 10 tips to handle yourself with your kids:

  1. Trust in Allah and make prayers for yourself and your kids

When we’re in trouble, and you know what? Everyone leaves us, and nobody cares for us; everything is like a black hole where you feel like you’re being pushed down and pulled down slowly, and time is constant, irresistible, and frozen. So when we feel alone and lost, there’s our Lord Allah who keeps us and comforts us to regrow and heal; that’s why, my beloved sisters and brothers, please connect with your Lord, who creates us, and all benefits and losses are in His hands. It’s a 100% to unlimited guarantee that when we leave it to Allah, all our worries and troubles vanish, and we feel light like air. Make prayers for yourself and for your kids to fulfill all your worldly and spiritual needs from Allah.

  I witnessed this with my friend who was divorced and had kids, so she made a strong connection with her lord and she found it easier in all her ways of life.

  1.  Take care of yourself for the sake of Allah 


This life is so precious, and it’s given to us only once; that’s why we have to care for it ourselves. Don’t regret or waste yourself for any abuser, and make yourself ready for the bitterness of life mentally and physically; this is only possible when we pay attention to ourselves. 

  Divorced moms have an immense need to give attention to themselves because they have to provide for their children and also take care of their kids.

  1. Build a strong connection with your kids

Your children are your team and companions, so be polite and friendly with your kids. Share your thoughts with your kids relevant to their age and level. This strategy prepares your kids for challenges and helps them develop good judgment. Don’t share your negative thoughts or awful memories with your kids because it’ll create hopeless and scattered feelings in them, and they’ll feel anger and aggression toward everyone except themselves.  

  1. Learn skills for earning

For living a better life and growing yourself, it’s essential to learn modern skills for earning, because without any skill you can’t make yourself able to earn. 

 Today is the age of AI, and everyone is being given access to AI. Many AI tools help us to earn, like ChatGPT, Canva AI, CapCut AI, Claude, and Eleven Labs, and many more. 

       Apart from that, you can learn offline skills like baking, cooking, stitching, and handicrafts. If you’re literate and have a degree, you can start teaching through a school job and home tuition. You can invest your legacy in someone of your convenience and a reliable person’s business that gives you a decent profit on your investment.

  1. Tactic plan for monthly budget


As we know, money is essential for living, and without it we can’t survive, so we need a monthly budget plan to identify our essentials, needs, and requirements. 

I want to share with you my own perspective on how I make my budget.

First of all, I sort out my priorities, like Grocery, Bills, and school fees, etc.; then I find out our laundry-related and repair-related necessities that are essential. 

   After that, I want to know about my savings: after spending money on all these needs, how much money is left. And this money is divided into three parts: first for savings, second for whole-month essentials, and the third for longings or requests for anything for my kids. Suggest me if you want to give me better advice for this; I would be very grateful, and in the next blog I’ll share the best tips with her/his name that someone gives me for this purpose.

  1. Include your kids in household chores

Your kids are your helpers also, so according to their age and capabilities, give them some responsibilities for household chores like doing dishes, sweeping, mopping, etc. Keep in mind to give responsibilities to your kids equally, so that it might not create conflict or injustice between them. Remember the responsibilities that you’ve given to your kids and swap them equally from time to time so they feel free doing their job and do them happily without being burdened. This habit makes them responsible and helpful to you. 

  1. Appreciate your kids for good deeds 

Appreciation is the key to motivation. When someone appreciates us and acknowledges what he/she feels for us, we feel motivated. Our kids are our legacy, and it creates a memorable feeling for them that they’ve been appreciated for doing something good. 

  Avoid excessive appreciation because it’ll make your child arrogant, but appreciate only when you feel and see the actual good act from him/her. Encourage your child for doing and practising good habits.

  1. Don’t humiliate your kid, but make him/her feel guilty

It’s a very important topic because some parents make this mistake repeatedly. They feel ashamed of their child excessively, so he/she becomes complex or an abuser. The right way is to prevent them from making mischief by acknowledging the consequences. 

          Avoid constant interruptions that say, " don’t do this or that, but give them a free hand to understand what’s right and what’s wrong. Remember that you were also a child, and by continuously making mistakes, you’ve reached this stage. Ignore their small or harmless mistakes, and sometimes contribute to their childish acts like a friend or companion, and kindly teach them how to avoid making mistakes. You can also read my blog https://afafzahra517.blogspot.com/2026/07/positive-discipline-10-strategies-that.html where I explain in detail wise positive disciplines.

  1. Set the timings of your kids' digital gadgets

In this advanced age, the Alpha and Beta generations are growing up with digital gadgets like mobiles, iPhones, and laptops, etc. These gadgets are a powerful source of distractions. The advantages of these gadgets are undeniable, but there’re also many disadvantages to these gadgets. In this short piece, I can’t explain all the things, but I want to say that please set mobile time limits and enforce them strictly because this rule makes your kids regular and punctual. Please read out this blog: https://www.smartone.com/en/mobile-service-plans/network-for-kids/Tips-to-Help-Break-Phone-Addiction.jsp


  1. Allure yourself and your kids for the betterment of worldly and hereafter life

Remember, this life is a very precious and uncompensatable gift from our Allah, so it’s the right of our Allah over our lives and all the things which He has bestowed upon us; we have to lead our life as our Allah ordered us. To live our lives according to the rules of Allah, which He has ordered us, is the key to success. Seek knowledge yourself and for your kids about religion. Say prayers on time and order your kids to also say prayers on time. Learn the Quran yourself and also teach it to your kids because, according to the hadith, this act is the best of all acts of good we do. 

      Apart from that, instruct your kids about sin and reward, Good and evil. Avoid yourself and your kids from doing evil, and allure yourself and your kids to do good as far as possible. 

  This habit brings you closer to Allah, and He’ll protect you from all evils and keep you and your kids safe and sound in all walks of life. Allah’ll save you from neediness and fulfill all your needs and desires without any effort. 
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